Severe Insomnia>Anxiety>Depression; Anecdotes & Experiences wanted!

Hi there!Im a 40 year old male from Norway, Europe.​I dont even know to describe how I have been doing for the last 3 years. It has been total devastation from severe insomnia leading to depression, anxiety, depersonalization, derealization, confusion, horrific brainfog (to the point where it feels like all my skills/ former life is gone; like I dont “remember” my skills/interests/education/experiences, borderline psychosis/ religious delusions, very bad short term memory/ ability to plan/ do simple logistics, horrific hypochondria/ fear of having any ailment in this world (cancer, parasites, heavy metals, viruses, Lyme, mould etc).​Physical symptoms include; severe fatigue, dizziness, not feeling in touch with myself/ my limbs, coordination issues, changes in sense of smell, taste etc., chronic sinusitis, bodily numbness, rectal bleedings, back pain. My days are basically spent doing very little, and I feel totally disconnected from myself/ the world (feels like “hell on earth”, like I dont even know if Im alive). I have not been able to work during these 3 years… I try to spend less time on Google searching for solutions…​The insomnia felt anxiety driven in the beginning, but now it feels more like a physical thing… Like there are some issues with respiration/ respirations signals (checked for sleep apnea, not concluded that I have it, but maybe trying an APAP could be an idea; anyone with experience with that)?? I didnt sleep anything for hundreds of nights in the beginning, like literally gasping for air in anxiety, the whole night. I guess I do have some sort of sleep now, but its very hard to tell. Going to bed feels like “going to my grave” sometimes… Like theres noe peace anywhere…​Its a constant “fight or flight” thing, so I dont even know if Im asleep or awake anymore. Its like being inside a horror movie, with my brai not being able to cleanse itself, because of all the bad sleep. It feels like Im like a horse in the night, listening for predators… My dreams are like Im present, like Im thinking more than I am dreaming, since Im not down in deep sleep…I did try some sleeping pills in the beginning, but they only made things worse ( I was well for 12 years before I got sick,but have traumas with pills from earlier in life. Thats why antidepressants are also very hard for me to try).​During this period I have;- done all sorts of blood tests/ MRI scans (showed unspecific white matter lesions)- spent 3 months in a mental rehab, depression treatment (not even able to talk in the group therapy sessions; no improvement)- tried to work on my thoughts with NLP techniques, going to psychologist etc- 2 months in a vegan rehab (tried going vegan to see if it could help my issues, got horrible anxiety and worsening of my condition)- tried all sorts of supplements and some alternative protocols (like Andy Cutler heavy metal cleansing etc)​I tried going carnivore last summer, but gave up after 5 weeks. After that I did “healthy” SAD, trying to limit sugar etc.This time, I have lasted since mid february, making it like 10 weeks meat only now… The first months I was lamb and beef only. Later I have had occasional fish, some cod liver, shellfish once or twice, a few raw egg yolks, some bone broth etc., but still mostly beef and lamb, mostly steaks and chunks of meat, but also some grassfed ground beef…​I really want to keep going, but am also scared. People seem to have so fast and profound relief from so many issues on this diet… Anyone here with my kinds of issues, who went longer before they noticed improvements?? The rectal bleeding and back pain are gone, but it doesnt feel like I have any big improvements apart from that… Maybe a little less “physical” anxiety… Its hard for me to understand that I dont see bigger things when all the potentially inflammatory coffee, sugar, grains etc are gone….?​Im also scared of wrecking my body on this diet (getting everything I need, having a heart attack or stroke, because Im not able to excercise much still etc.), even though everyone say thats not gonna happen. How will reintroducing some vegetables go after having been on this diet for a long time??I used to be very fit before I got sick, but am not able to do any strenous excercise now, just short walks mostly.​I just wonder why I dont see more profound results… It feels like I dont know where to go next, so I will keep going for a while… Im also concerned some people say their sleep got worse on this diet… Thats the last thing I need :-(​Would be very nice to hear some thoughts and insights, if any of this resonates with you own experiences… Please dont give advices like; Do the iodine protocol! Add magnesium! Try nofap! Check your electrolytes! Do a candida cleanse! Check your B12 levels! etc…​Thanks for reading :-)

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